A Leap and a Bound
by VivoRisataAmore
Summary: After a drunken night Beckett wakes up in Castle's bed and neither of them can remember a thing, but it's obvious that they did more than sleep last night.
1. Chapter 1

Even before she opened her eyes she knew whose arms were encircled around her bare waist, that masculine smell that probably cost more than she made in a year was all too familiar. Cursing to herself she opened her eyes which confirmed what she already knew, she had slept with Richard Castle.

It was undoubtedly his room, the shirt he had worn the night before was strewn over the lamp shade and the rest of their clothing was lying discarded on the floor. Groaning to herself she realised that she had no idea what happened last night. How on Earth did she end up in bed with her partner and now be unable to remember a single detail?

Trying to recall the night she just had was hard, what with the rather large headache she was suffering thanks to copious amounts of alcohol from the night before. The team of detectives had gone to Castle's for a few drinks after a tough case and it seemed Beckett drank more than she had planned.

It hadn't even occurred to her that she was still snuggled tightly to her partner, their legs entwined and his arms holding her to his somewhat impressive chest. That is until the man in question began to stir.

Beckett tried to squirm out of his grasp but before she could he pulled her back flush against him. Beckett held her breath, praying that he hadn't woken up; maybe just maybe she could still get out of there without him waking and hopefully he remembered about as much as she did from the previous night.

Slowly turning she saw his eyes still closed, she relaxed, she could still repair this situation. She'd go in just a minute, really, she couldn't resist the chance to see the usually dramatic man at ease. He truly was handsome. His hair messy and a childlike smile gracing his features, something that seemed just so Castle that Beckett couldn't help but smile.

Snapping herself from her musings she once again attempted to get out of his grasp. Slowly she extracted her legs from his and was about to attempt the same with his arms when the door opened. A surprised Alexis let out a little squeak before covering her eyes and talking fast so that she could leave the room as soon as possible.

'Sorry. I figured it was Dad's phone that kept ringing down stairs so I thought I'd bring it up for him.'

The door shut behind the embarrassed girl and Beckett groaned. So much for making the night disappear.

'Well, this isn't what I expected to wake up to but I'm sure I could get used to it.' Beckett turned in his arms to face the smirking man.

'Castle! Your daughter just walked in on us, together, in a bed, naked.'

'Oh crap.' Rick fell back into his pillow and threw an arm over his eyes. 'She wasn't supposed to be back until after lunch.'

'It's three in the afternoon.' Beckett was shocked at the time, she couldn't remember when she had last slept this late.

Castle groaned. 'Don't worry. Alexis has been through worse all it will take is a little Castle magic and she will never mention it again.'

'How can you be so cavalier about this?'

'Just trust me on this.'

'Fine. But just know that I have a gun on me at all times.' The smirk on the writer's face told the detective that he was about to make some sort of innuendo but a glare silenced the man. 'Now, what are we going to do?'

'I'm sorry.'

'Sorry for what? It's as much your fault as mine.'

'I shouldn't have brought out the last bottle of...' Castle thought for a moment, 'bottle of something.'

'You don't remember it either then?'

'Wait, if you don't remember anything, and I don't remember anything we might not have even done anything.'

'Look around. Your shirt is thrown over a lamp shade with half the buttons missing. I don't even need to be a detective to figure out what that means.' Beckett said gesturing to the offending item.

'Richard.' Martha's voice made the detective want to hide herself under the covers like a child.

'Gran, he's still sleeping. Let's just leave a note.' The lack of noise seemed to signify that the two had left the area.

'I love my daughter.' Castle whispered to himself.

'That was close.' Beckett sat up against the headboard of the bed. Ready to argue with Castle yet again.

'I'm starving, how about we talk over breakfast. Nothing reduces awkwardness like Rick Castle's famous choc chip pancakes.'

Hearing her own stomach rumble she couldn't deny that breakfast sounded good. 'Fine, but you go down first, just in case they are still there.'

Beckett held the sheets over herself as Castle got up. She watched him wander across to his dresser, she tried to divert her eyes before he turned but she didn't quite make it.

'Checking me out Beckett?'

'I just thought I'd return the favour. God knows you've done it to me enough.'

'I was just being a gentleman holding the door for you.'

* * *

><p>'All's clear.' At Castle's call she got up and opted to not wear her clothes from the night before. Instead she rummaged through Castle's dresser and found a pair of his sweats and a t-shirt. They still smelt like him and although she wouldn't admit it she rather liked wearing his clothing, it made her feel delicate and feminine which isn't something that happens often when you are a female homicide detective.<p>

Beckett walked into the kitchen and slid onto the stool in front of the breakfast bar, her fingers played with the edges of the note that Alexis had so kindly decided to leave. Castle handed her a glass and some aspirin, taking it gladly she stayed quiet.

'So what do you want to do?' Castle asked while flipping a pancake.

'Pretend that it didn't happen. I can't get involved with someone that I work with.' Beckett tried to deny that Castle looked a little hurt.

'I think it's a little late for that.'

A knock on the door made both people jump.

'I'll be back in a second.'

Hearing the familiar voices of Ryan and Esposito, Beckett prayed that they wouldn't walk into the kitchen.

'We went to her place and she wasn't there so we figured she'd still be here.'

Beckett shrunk back on her chair when she heard multiple footsteps coming towards her_. So much for keeping it a secret. _

'As I was saying, Beckett and I both drank a bit too much and so she stayed here the night. I slept on the couch. Nothing happened.'

Esposito looked at Ryan sceptically. 'There was a home invasion on the corner of third and twelfth. The Captain sent us over when no one could contact you.'

'We'll be there in an hour.'

'We've been trying to contact you since 11; you might want to get there sooner than that.'

'I have no spare clothes and it takes at least thirty minutes to get to my apartment.'

'You can borrow something of my mother's?' Beckett looked at Castle incredulously, 'Alexis' then.'

'I still have my clothes from last night; I can just throw them back on.'

'We'll meet you two there in thirty.' The two detectives showed themselves out the door, the exchange of money as they walked out didn't go unnoticed by Beckett.

'I guess breakfast will have to wait. I'll make the coffee, you go shower and change, you'll feel so much better for it.'

Beckett pushed herself off the stool, walking up the stairs she peered down at the writer who was humming to himself content. _He is not content, that would mean that he's happy with what happened. It's not right, we work together._

* * *

><p>Holding up her top in the light she realised that it wasn't fit to be worn again. She was too busy with the last case to go home and get changed so she had worn those clothes for over twenty four hours already. Opening up Castle's closet she grabbed the closest white button down that she could find and threw it on along with her pants from last night.<p>

'That shirt has never looked so good.' Castle was leaning casually in the doorway from the bathroom.

Beckett rolled her eyes. 'Just get dressed so we can go.'

They were at the scene within forty minutes. Lanie looked Beckett and Castle up and down with a smirk earning herself a glare from the detective. After briefing them on the case Lanie pulled her friend aside.

'No makeup, a men's button up and a grimace whenever there's a loud noise. Why detective Beckett... Is that the walk of shame?'

'Castle decided that I was too drunk to make it home and he wasn't exactly fit to take me anywhere either so I stayed the night, but no we did not have sex if that's what you're implying.'

Lanie looked up at her best friend raising an eyebrow with a twinkle in her eye. 'And I'm Santa Clause. Girl, do you really think I don't know my own best friend's 'I just had the best sex of my life face'.'

Kate groaned. 'What? It was only second best? Really? I've always pegged Castle for being spectacular.'

'It's not that, well I wouldn't know actually. Past you and Esposito leaving I can't remember anything.'

'You finally slept with him and you can't remember a thing?' The look on her face told more to her best friend than any words could. 'Uh-huh.'

Across the other side of the room Castle was receiving a similar questioning from the boys. Beckett and Castle shared a look, one that clearly said 'we just had sex but don't let anyone know' to anyone who was looking.

'We've both decided to just let it go. It was a drunken mistake.'

'You both decided or you decided?'

'I decided but Castle didn't object,' knowing Castle better than that Lanie raised an eyebrow. 'Alright, if you must know the conversation was interrupted by the boys.'

'You have to talk to him, I know Castle and he isn't going to just let you go. Not after so many years of pining after you.'

'He hasn't pined after me.' Lucky for Beckett who was quickly losing ground there was a murder to investigate. 'I think we should get back to work. This case isn't going to solve itself.'

'Just do it.' Beckett stalked away with a glare.

* * *

><p><strong>I will continue on with this very soon but I liked leaving it here for the moment. <strong>

**This is my first Castle fanfic so constructive criticism is very welcome. I'm sorry for any mistakes I haven't had this Beta'd but I know there will be many.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Well you guys are an amazing bunch of readers! It's amazing what reviews do for my motivation levels, I don't think I've ever updated so quickly. I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as you did the last one.**

* * *

><p>Over the next few hours Castle was seen to be entering his 'writing zone' a lot more often than usual, but this time he knew that his thoughts weren't being put in one of his books even though they did centre around his beautiful muse. His books were only a figment of his imagination, whereas what happened was all too real.<p>

He couldn't get the feeling of waking up with her in his arms out of his head. Usually it was the night before that he couldn't forget but with Beckett it was different, and not just because he had no idea what happened. There was something about the complete simpleness of the situation, the fact that even when they argued Beckett was touching him and neither of them felt the need to run away, she may want to deny it but she didn't hate him for what happened.

In his head he'd written out the scene a million different ways, but the way it actually happened wasn't even close to anything he let himself think up. In a way it was better, although the man in Castle just wanted to be with her in every sense of the word the writer inside of him couldn't help but see the romance in the situation.

Waking up with some women was awkward, but waking up with Beckett just seemed natural. He could still feel where she had been touching him, her bare skin on his. He couldn't deny that his thoughts still strayed to what might have happened before they fell asleep together but deep down he didn't want to have to imagine, he wanted to know. He already knew what heaven there was in seeing the love of his life lying in his arms and for the moment that would more than suffice, even after years of dreaming it was more perfect than he had thought.

Truthfully Castle had woken earlier than Beckett, something which he was utterly grateful for. Because he got a chance to see something rare, he got to see Kate Beckett completely at peace. Her face showed no worry, no anger only complete and utter contentment. She was no longer the poised, perfect detective; she was just Katie, a daughter, a friend, a lover. After watching her sleep for a few minutes he let her light breathing lull him back into a peaceful sleep.

He'd thought that he'd found heaven when they kissed so long ago but really he had only just toed the gates. Even after all these years Beckett was still showing him what love really was, not the love that he thought he'd had with his wives but unwavering perfect love, the sort of love that old couples talked about fifty years after they met. It wasn't all physical, it was barely physical but it was more pure than anything he'd ever felt before. He hadn't had the chance to see love as a child, his mother never loved she lusted so when he grew he figured that was love. But now he knew, love wasn't what his mother had, there were bumps and there were fights but all those little moments, those little smiles, the knowing looks made it all worthwhile and those moments where what patched up an unhappy couple.

All he wanted was a second chance, and Richard Castle always got what he want. He was going to do it right and this time he wouldn't need an overload of alcohol, he'd do it all off his own charm.

* * *

><p>As much as she tried to push the thoughts to the back of her mind Beckett couldn't concentrate on the case. All she could think about was him, waking up in his arms and feeling safer than she had ever felt before.<p>

It scared her to think that she could trust someone else; she had always gone out of her way to keep others at an arm's length. Yet here she was letting him in, actually she hadn't let him in, he had pulled down the wall, she had so painstakingly built, brick by brick. When she was curled up in his arms this morning she wasn't on her guard, something that Kate couldn't remember ever happening.

In all honesty she knew that there was no point in trying to ignore what happened but ignoring things was her way of coping. If she didn't think about it then it mustn't have happened. The only problem was there was no way she could stop thinking about it, he consumed her thoughts.

She would be reading over a file and suddenly remember the way that he cradled her in his arms, how they were perfectly aligned it was more like they were one than two. Before she knew it the case was forgotten and all she could do was think about that silky hair falling messily on his head, that little smile that made her stomach do flips, the way that his fingers were laying protectively on her stomach and how he wouldn't let her go even while sleeping.

She was falling for him harder and faster than she ever thought possible. She knew that her feelings for Castle before were more than she would ever admit but now she knew that it wasn't just sexual attraction, it was love. Hell, she'd woken up in his arms without any memory of the night and suddenly he was all she could think about.

Every time she saw him all she wanted to do was feel his skin under her fingers, her lips, under her. Each time he touched her, even in the most innocent of actions she felt a spark. It was like the night had broken the gates that were holding back her desires for Castle and now things kept sneaking past, no matter how hard she tried to rein them in.

Kate couldn't remember ever being this distracted. She was regularly pulled from her thoughts by Ryan or Esposito when they thought something was wrong. Finally she managed to find what she was looking for and her thoughts centred on the case and not the writer who was filling her thoughts.

* * *

><p>For the next two days Castle and Beckett worked together even though they were a lot more distracted they managed to work without appearing to be awkward, much to Lanie's surprise. They had just slept together and there was no trace of the usual awkwardness that would ensue, proof that they were meant to be together.<p>

After catching a break in the case, they almost had the guy, all they needed now was confirmation from Lanie which was proving to be difficult since the machine she needed broke just the day before so while it was being replaced everything had to be done by hand.

'Really Beckett you have to talk to him.' Lanie said when Kate came down to the morgue to get an update.

The detective sighed. 'We already sorted it out, I told you.'

'Girl, you can say that all you like but the more you ignore the fact that you and Castle slept together the more you are going to think about it.'

'What's there to think about if I can't remember it?'

'Don't pretend that you haven't been imagining all the ways that it could have happened, was it hot and heavy or sweet and caring. From all the pent up chemistry between you two I'd go with the former.'

Beckett blushed at her friend's words, ignoring the smirk that was on the medical examiner's face. 'I'm leaving. Let me know when you get those results.'

As Beckett was walking out of the morgue Lanie called out, 'talk to him.' Beckett just continued walking, her mind racing with all the things she almost stopped herself thinking of before. She knew that he was a good kisser but she really could only imagine what happened beneath the sheets and what lovely thoughts they turned out to be.

* * *

><p>The case was simple; a crime of passion and the killer wasn't very careful making for an easy investigation. Which was lucky considering how distracted two of the team were, they already took a lot longer than they should have to solve such an open and shut case.<p>

'Detective, can I please have a word with you in my office?' The captain looked impatient, which could be expected since it was nearing six on a Saturday night and he now had a mountain load of paperwork to do before he left. Glancing at Castle before she followed she could tell that there was something on the writer's mind, and she had a feeling that prolonging this meeting wouldn't push it away.

Back at her desk Castle was waiting patiently, well as patiently as Richard Castle could. He had finally given up waiting and so he commenced a search of her drawers, knowing that she really was a chocolate lover and would have some stashed away.

Finally he found a bag of M&Ms in her top drawer under some files. As if on cue Beckett appeared before him, looking like a guilty school boy he dropped them back into the drawer and stood to allow her to take the seat.

'What did you want Castle? I'm rather busy here.' Beckett started flipping through a report that she was just about to write up.

Opting to sit on the desk instead of his usual seat he looked down at her seriously, deciding to not evade the topic and get straight to the point. 'Beckett, we need to talk.'

Beckett wasn't shocked but she still stiffened at the inevitable words. 'About what Castle?' They both knew that she was practically daring him to say something, anything about what happened but he wouldn't bite.

'About this arrangement that we have.'

'What is there to talk about? You follow me around, act like a pain, make up absurd theories and then do the exact opposite of what I tell you to do when one is finally right.'

'We both know that there's more to our 'partnership' than that.'

'Fine, we can talk about it, just not here.' Beckett said glancing around the precinct.

Castle was glad she relented so easily, he was prepared for a struggle. 'Where would you suggest then detective?'

'It doesn't bother me as long as there is good food.'

'Be at my place at seven or I will come down here and take you myself. I'll be cooking.'

'This time I'm not drinking so don't even tempt me.'

'Bad memories from the other night?'

'No memories and that's the problem.'

'Well we can always create more.' Castle said with a lewd wink.

'Castle.'

'Too early?' Kate just gave him a look that said it all before trying to get back to her report that Castle was currently sitting on.

'Leave now or I won't turn up at all.'

'Seven, Beckett, don't be late.'

Castle walked towards the elevator with a sly grin plastered on his face. He'd get another try at wooing Beckett and this time he'd make sure that she would never forget it.

* * *

><p><strong>Be completely honest about what you think in a review? One again, I can't believe the amount of support I've received through this story so thank you to everyone who left a review, favourited or alerted! Sorry if there are any mistakes, or it's a bit jumpy I just couldn't get the pieces to mix. I'll hopefully be back soon.<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks to all the amazing reviewers and all the people who favourited/alerted!**

Beckett left the precinct just after Castle did, hoping to make it back to her apartment to freshen up before going to Castle's. Even if she wouldn't admit it out loud she was hoping that tonight would lead somewhere. More than hoping actually, she was praying.

Kate Beckett wasn't usually one to sit on the side lines and let an opportunity slide past and for too long she had been doing that with him. This time she was going to do it right. This night could decide the whole future of their partnership; if things went badly they would stop working together, if things went well they'd both be happy. This night was making her extremely nervous and it had barely begun. She could face a trained killer and not show a single sign of weakness yet here she was, almost having a panic attack over a simple dinner. It wasn't even a date.

* * *

><p>Bustling around the kitchen Rick's nerves were growing more and more each second. He knew what to cook to impress her, he knew what topics he should stay away from and what they should talk about, he knew all her signals, yet he had never been this nervous. He had to pause and regroup many times while cooking. Luckily for him there was no one in the house to notice his anxiety, otherwise he wouldn't have been able to pull it together and get ready for his dinner with Beckett.<p>

Knowing that she wouldn't appreciate his usual dramatic touch he decided to tone it down. Instead of rose petals and a candle lit dinner he went with a simple dinner and a movie. If he wasn't going to build his nerve and take the future into his own hands he could at least get a hug on the couch. He knew that Kate would always lean on him during a movie, and what sort of man was he if he didn't put his arm around her?

* * *

><p>Just after seven she showed up, carrying a bottle of wine she walked in behind him, noting that he hadn't gone for the typical Castle extravaganza. The table was set nicely but not flashy and the meal looked immaculate. Once everything was dished up they sat down with a plate and a glass each.<p>

'I thought you weren't drinking tonight.'

'I figured that one glass couldn't hurt. Where's Alexis tonight?'

'She's gone to Paige's for a girl's night.'

Through the whole dinner they acted like they always had, a passerby wouldn't be able to tell that each of them was carefully considering their every move. One drink turned into two as they ate the meal that Rick had so carefully cooked.

Beckett had never felt so comfortable yet nervous at the same time. She wasn't feeling scared or intimidated by him, as a good date should be. Instead she was just worried about what was going to happen. Here in the moment she was blissful and never wanted it to end but if she played it right maybe it would develop into something even better, something that would promise many more dates like this to come.

'Well Castle, I have to say that was amazing.' Pushing her plate away she smiled up at the writer who had spent the last few minutes just watching her in the slightly dimmed light.

'I'm glad you appreciate it, not everyone does.'

'How about that movie you promised?'

'Sure thing, you pick one and I'll just pack up here.'

'Let me help you.' She said while beginning to reach for his empty plate.

'No Beckett, you're a guest in this house. My mother would have my head if she knew that I let you help out. You just go on ahead and pick the movie, you know where they are.'

Beckett just sighed sarcastically and walked out of the room, the writer's eyes followed her retreating back. Taking a moment to breath was a good idea; his nerves were so worked up at the moment he could almost explode. He was usually so good with women, they were all so desperate to get him that it didn't matter what he did, but Beckett, well she was completely different. If he wanted her he was going to have to work, harder than he ever had before. Not only was it more difficult but the stakes were higher, he'd never felt the way he does about her before. If he was to lose her through a stupid, impulsive decision he would never forgive himself.

When Castle had finished cleaning up he waltzed into the living room to see Beckett considering two DVD covers carefully. 'Need help deciding Beckett?'

'I've got it down to Karate Kid or Rush Hour one... but I think Rush Hour wins.'

'Anything's fine with me.' _I just want an excuse to cuddle you on the couch._

Beckett put the disk into the player and walked over to the couch, Castle was already there his arm hooked lazily on the back of the couch, leaving a perfect space for her to rest. Kicking off her heels that were currently killing her legs she curled up beside him, resting her head on his shoulder.

It was the closest that they had been since they slept together and even though they had been in this exact position many a time when they were 'just partners', this time she couldn't even think about the movie. Instead she was just focused on the man she was resting against. Where his arm had slowly fallen onto her shoulders or how he was currently absentmindedly rubbing her bare shoulder with his thumb. It was like she was hyper aware of him.

Each time he laughed she would laugh too, thanking him for giving her clues on what she was supposed to be doing because at the moment her brain was on a one way track. It was a one way track right into the gutters.

Half way through the movie he absentmindedly kissed her on the top of her head. It was such a simple action but that innocent kiss expanded in Beckett's mind until she was barely able to stop herself from turning around and kissing him until he forgot where he was. She bit her lip but was unable to repress the sigh that escaped.

'Is there something wrong Beckett?' Looking in his eyes was her undoing. She couldn't speak; all she could do was stare into those beautiful eyes that made her feel like she was the only person on the planet. Licking her lips she took a leap of faith and kissed him. Castle didn't hesitate and kissed her back, it started out sweet and caring but they were both to desperate for each other that it didn't stay that way long.

Somehow they made it up the stairs, shedding clothing as they moved. Each new touch of skin on skin brought Goosebumps. They could be cute and loving later, right now neither of them wanted to wait to have each other.

* * *

><p><strong>I don't know how I feel about that last scene... It just didn't want to work for me. I hope you liked it! I would have written more but I decided to leave this here, there aren't many chapters left and it just would have been longer for an update.<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**I really do love all the support I've recieved for this story and I would love to thank each and every one of you!**

* * *

><p>Castle lifted his head to look at the clock on the other bedside table. 'Beckett, its eight o'clock on a Sunday morning and we don't even have a case.' Castle perked up a bit, 'Do we have a case?'<p>

'No.'

Castle groaned. 'Well then why'd you wake me up?'

'I didn't mean to.'

He pouted like a small child. 'No but it got cold without you.'

'Well you can go back to sleep but I for one will be leaving this apartment before Alexis walks in on us again, or God forbid your mother.'

'She is on a spiritual retreat actually and Alexis would still be at Paige's.'

'Still, I'm leaving before she gets back.'

'Come back to bed?'

'No.'

'Please?'

'No.'

'I'll make it worth your while.' Castle wiggled his eyebrows.

'Forget it. Last night shouldn't have happened. We've already sorted it, we both want to just pretend that it didn't happen the first time and we can just do the same for this time. It was just a momentary lapse in judgement.'

'No, you wanted to pretend that it didn't happen. I never got a say in it.'

'We agreed.'

'Kate.'

_Lanie was right, not that I'll ever tell her. _'Fine. What did you have to say on the matter?'

'Come back to bed and I'll tell you.' She just looked at him with frustration. 'Over breakfast then? We never did get that Rick Castle special.'

'Only because I'm starving and I'm pretty sure my apartment contains zero food.'

* * *

><p>Sitting in front of an uneaten pancake she spoke uneasily. 'I really think we should just pretend that this didn't happen.'<p>

He didn't even look up; he just kept working around the kitchen. 'Yes, because that worked so well the first time.'

'I just can't keep doing this. We just can't keep doing this.'

He looked her straight in the eye and spoke determinedly. 'Why can't we? I don't want this to stop. I don't want to hide it. I want to scream it from the balcony for all of New York to hear.'

Her voice was uncertain and she couldn't look him in the eye. 'We can't do this Castle. I can't let this get in the way of either of our jobs. You have your books and I have my crimes. We've been doing this for years and it has worked. I just don't want us to screw up what we have. You can still help me solve cases and you can still do research for your books, we both win.'

'Kate, listen to me. It's no longer about the books. It never was; it has always been about you. I had never met someone who truly surprised me, who didn't fall for my charms, who was so impossible to capture in words. Nikki Heat isn't you; she's a vague shadow of you because no words could describe the amazing Kate Beckett. What we've got can't be replaced, it's rarer than anything on this planet.'

'I can't do this Castle. I can't ruin this. What we have is special I know but I don't want to wreck it. I can't let you any closer or I'll start backing away.'

'And I'll keep chasing you.' He made his way around the bench to stand in front of the teary eyed detective. He reached for her hands but she pulled away

'You don't understand. I can't let you in. I can't be vulnerable. For so long I've lived distant from everyone around me. I keep my distance because I don't want to hurt them.'

'You won't hurt me because I love you; no matter what you do you're perfect to me. You don't need to run from me, I will be here no matter what. When I said always I meant it.' With each word she backed away a little further, more tears brimming in her eyes.

'I just can't.' Turning she ran out of the apartment, slamming the door behind her. Castle called out to her but she was already gone.

* * *

><p>She managed to hold back her tears until she had hailed a taxi. She was in no state to drive, no matter what she told herself. Usually she would hate to have someone she didn't know seeing her cry but she didn't care about it today. Rattling off her address she leant back on the seat grasping onto her mother's ring for dear life.<p>

Leaving his apartment was good for her... right? Then, why did it feel like the biggest mistake of her life? Why was all she wishing with all her soul that she could tell the driver to turn around, so that she could go and take back her harsh words?

She wasn't supposed to feel this way. She stopped herself fully letting people in, fully loving so that she didn't hurt this way. If you didn't love people properly then you don't hurt when they leave your life. Only she had let Castle in, she didn't mean to his just used his bloody charm to worm his way into her long dead heart.

She hadn't felt this vulnerable since her mother's death. She was scared that she had let someone in so fully that they were able to cause her this much pain. She only left now because no love will last forever, she was just leaving before her heart was broken. This way she wasn't supposed to feel the pain and heartbreak.

She may not be able to love but that didn't matter. Up to this point she had never felt true heartbreak; she had always removed herself before that could happen. She'd sever any relationship that seemed serious.

Only this time it was different. She hadn't gotten away in time, she'd let herself get carried away. She'd let love and lust overtake her need for self preservation.

Arriving at her apartment she paid the driver and apologised for her tears. She plodded up the stairs to her apartment; each step seemed to take more effort than running after a suspect in heels. Her head was aching from her tears which were still rolling down her already soaked cheeks.

* * *

><p>Castle stood watching the door for what felt like hours, just waiting for her to return. To tell him that she didn't mean it. But it didn't happen; he just stood there like an idiot, waiting. He should have known that she would run. It was all she knew.<p>

He should have known to take it slow, to go on her terms. At least then he might still have his partnership with her. Instead he was left with nothing, all because of his own hasty actions.

He moved to the living room, which was where Alexis found him hours later. It wasn't until she put her hand on his shoulder that he acknowledged her presence.

'Dad, are you okay?'

Shaking his head to clear his thoughts and smiling he replied, 'yeah, I'm fine. How was your night?'

She didn't believe him at all, she was worried. 'Has something happened to Gram?'

'No honey, nothing's wrong, trust me.'

'Since when has that been wise?' Castle chuckled darkly and pulled her into a one armed hug.

'You know me too well.'

'Was it Beckett?'

'It doesn't matter, really. I'd rather not talk about it anyway.'

'Dad.'

'Yes my fabulous daughter who completely ignored my question from before. How was your night?'

'It was fine but I have homework to do. Don't bottle it up, let it out somehow.'

'I promise.' And he would. He'd take out his frustrations in the best way he knew, through words.

He spent so many hours just typing away, angst filled bits and pieces that couldn't count for more than words. They weren't a story, a story had to have rise and fall, and this was just pure sadness. What this story needed was a knight in shining armour, to run after the damsel in distress. Only this time it would take more than a knight's armour and a trusty steed.

Kate Beckett wouldn't just give in. She was too stubborn; she needs evidence before she will believe. She'll listen to you but without proof she won't act. How can he give her proof that they would work? He knew it would work, it wasn't just one of his little fantasies, it was real.

She couldn't let herself believe in love because she'd always been let down. She lost both her parent's the day her mother died. Her father came back but it was too late, she had already decided that promises meant nothing. There was no more always for her.

Suddenly he had an epiphany. He'd said always, and he meant it but he wasn't honouring it. He was just being another man who let her down, broke his promise.

He called out to Alexis that he'd be back and ran out the door. The cool autumn air bit at his face as he stepped out onto the sidewalk. He had left his keys along with his jacket in his apartment so he had to hail a cab. He hopped in and blurted the address.

The driver gave him a long stare through the rear vision mirror. 'You aren't going to cry on me are you?'

'No.' Castle looked confused.

'Good.'

The rest of the drive was silent as Castle attempted to prepare a speech in his head. Everything he thought of just wasn't right. It was too showy, it was all wrong, or Beckett could get the wrong idea. The man who made millions on his words alone couldn't even figure out what to say to the love of his life. Before he decided what he would say they had arrived at her apartment building.

* * *

><p><strong>I just wanted to get this out since I haven't updated in a few days. I hope it makes sense. Amazingly it seems that school makes me more motivated to write once I get home, maybe it's the fact that if I write I have an excuse for not doing my homework... <strong>

**Anyway, let me know what you think! Good or bad! :)**


	5. Chapter 5

_He'd said it. He looked me straight in the eye and told me without a hint of deceit that he loved me. He'd said he loved me and I ran away, like I always do. I can face up to murderers without being perturbed at all but with one admission from him I'm hiding like a little child. _

_Is being with him worth the pain of love? He makes me feel like I'm floating, rather than trudging through life. With him I've grown, from what I was to who I am, without him I'd probably still be wondering what happened to my mother. He allowed me to become happier, to see that everything had a silver lining and that it wasn't just a lie. _

_What if my words managed to push him away for good? Maybe it would be for the best. We could both recover from it and move on and I wouldn't have a blemish on my heartbreaker record. _

She was arguing with herself, the same argument over and over, between her head and her heart. Her head wouldn't let her forget all the times that others have left but her heart was in overdrive every time she remembered him saying those three little words.

'I love you.' Three words, so simple yet so full of meaning. Those three words could change a life. Those three words will be changing a life. Right here, right now, if only she would decide what she is going to do.

She was torn. He meant so much to her yet she couldn't lose that niggling little voice in the back of her head that reminded her of all her insecurities. Each time she almost decided on what she would do she'd have a memory that completely undermined her decision. Castle leaving for the summer and not contacting them till they literally ran into him. Then there were all the memories from the last week, waking up in his warm embrace, their passion, the feeling of flying when she was with him.

He had the ability to make her smile when it seemed like the world was caving in. They faced death everyday and before Castle had arrived in her life Kate was well on her way to completely losing touch with her emotions. He came into her life and reminded her how to laugh, and with that reminded her of sadness.

If he had been just a little later she wouldn't be able to feel anymore. And not being able to feel is worse than feeling like everything is caving in at once. At least when you could feel you'd know when you were happy, and you'd know that you were human in sadness.

When you don't feel anything you give up fighting and when you can't fight, everything you ever wanted slips through your fingers. Without him she'd be a shell of a human. She wouldn't be living she would just be existing. Who knows where she would be without him.

* * *

><p>He took a deep breath as he pushed open the doors to her apartment complex. He slowed down as he reached her floor, not because he was tired but because he still didn't know what to say.<p>

He knew that he wanted her to know that he loved her, that he would always be for her, that even if they fought he'd come running back. He needed her to know that no matter what he would be there for her, no matter what he had to do or who he had to be. Just every way he tried to phrase it didn't seem good enough in the slightest.

He stood at her door trying to summon some courage. When he'd left his apartment he was so confident in what he had to do, now he wasn't sure if he could handle a second rejection from her. He just had to reason with himself, if he didn't do this now he'd miss his chance.

* * *

><p>A knock on her door startled her. She wasn't in any state for visitors; maybe she could just pretend that she wasn't there. Sneaking up to the door she looked through the peep hole. She didn't expect him to be here, why would he be chasing her after she had hurt him. Maybe he would do what her brain wouldn't let her do, and make this relationship work.<p>

'I'll be just a minute.' Opening the door she noticed that he looked thoroughly dishevelled and there may have been a slight trace of tears on his face. 'Castle, I-'

'Beckett, I'm sorry.' He looked down at the morose detective. She'd changed into sweats and a plain t-shirt but he couldn't help but think she looked even more beautiful than she had earlier.

'I was a total heartless bitch and now you're apologising. Why are you so... so, Castle?' She finally caught his eye. Without her power heels she would usually feel even more vulnerable but with Castle she didn't even notice.

'I'm sorry because I said always and I didn't keep that promise.'

'Castle-'

'No Beckett let me finish, please. I shouldn't have let you go; and once I did I shouldn't have waited so long to chase after you.'

'I need time on my own Castle. I need to be able to sort this out, I can't think with you right in front of me.' It was true, when he was around all she could think about was being with him, she couldn't be objective.

'You can't make up your mind because with me here you can't make up reasons that we aren't perfect for each other. You can pretend that when we touch there isn't a spark, you can pretend that you don't like my jokes and you can pretend that I haven't stood by you.'

'It's not like that. I just need some space, I always think better alone.'

'No, you can just lie to yourself better when you're alone. When you get like this you're your own worst enemy Kate.'

Unable to speak she just stood there a sad look on her beautiful face. His heart was beating faster than it ever had before. He wasn't going to give up, there was nothing she could say that would stop him from fighting this time. When it looked like her had was about to move to shut the door in his face he stopped her, taking a step closer till he was right in the doorway and putting his hand on the door.

'I'm not going to let you run away from this. If you can look me in the eye and say that you honestly don't love me back I'll never bring this up again.' His words struck her like a ton of bricks; she wouldn't be able to say it. She couldn't tell him that she didn't love him because it would be a gigantic lie.

She opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out, before she could finally regain control of her vocal chords he continued. 'I'll be whatever you need me to be, a nuisance, a friend, a lover, a partner but you are never getting rid of me. I am going to be here with you through everything, through thick and thin. I'm sorry to say it but you're stuck with me. Just like peanut butter and jelly, we're always going to be together.'

She had to stifle a giggle at his childlike analogy; it was what she loved about him. Even in the worst moments, he could bring her happiness without even meaning to. She was once again overwhelmed with the two arguments struggling in her head. Unable to stand it a moment longer Kate did something that she had never done before. She locked her brain up and let her heart claim its winnings.

Beckett stepped even closer to the writer, till they were just millimetres apart; placing her hands on his chest comfortingly she looked him in the eye. 'I'm just scared that if I let you in you'll leave me because I'm too much to handle.'

He took her advance as a good sign and wrapped an arm loosely around her shoulders. 'I will never leave you, and even if you won't let me in, I'll stay here, I'll stay for you. Because there is nothing I want more in the world than to be with you. I wish I had the perfect words to say what you mean to me but you've got me stumped.'

'Rick,' He smiled a little, it would have to be a good thing that she called him Rick, she only ever had when she was happy. 'Stop being such a finicky writer. Those words were perfect for us. Unpoetic, rushed, confusing us, we've never done anything by the books.'

'Does you using us mean what I think it means?'

With a small giggle she nodded a pleased smile gracing her face. 'And just because I can't let my walls down to you immediately doesn't mean that I don't love you.'

A gigantic grin broke out on his face. 'That's all I needed to hear.'

He tilted held her chin up with a finger and captured her lips in a sweet and loving kiss.

* * *

><p><strong>Because of that last line I now have True Love's Kiss stuck in my head... -_-<strong>

**Well, I hope y'all liked it. I'll probably just end this with an epilogue but other than that it's the end of the road for us. I really do love you all for sticking with me and showing support! It's been amazing!**


	6. Chapter 6

**You guys are absolutely amazing! I hope you like this because it's the last chapter to this story.**

**Oh and I don't own Castle and I never have, just pretend that this has been on every other chapter too...**

* * *

><p>Sitting on the balcony overlooking the beach he had an arm wrapped loosely around her shoulders while her head sat snuggled in the crook of his neck. The sun was setting making the children playing on the beach just silhouettes to the happy couple.<p>

'Mrs Castle... I still can't believe I finally get to call you that.'

'I can't believe that I can finally call you my husband.' She said playing with the buttons on his shirt.

It had been a long few years. There were fights and moments when they were both ready to just throw it all away but every time one of them would cave. They'd come back together and be stronger than before. They grew together, Beckett learnt to open up a little and Castle learnt patience.

The precinct went into chaos when they announced that they were together. Then when he had proposed Lanie's squeal could have smashed all the crystal in New York. It was a small proposal, small but intimate, just like she had always dreamed about.

Really this relationship had been more than she could have ever considered possible. She never would have thought that being close to someone could make her feel safe. Instead of feeling like she was on her own she knew that he would always be there for her. No matter what she had done he had stood by her, even when she was the one in the wrong he'd make sure she knew that he wasn't going to leave. Even when she tried to push him away he wouldn't go. He was stubborn and obstinate in all the good ways.

He brought out her inner child, the child that had gone hidden away for so long. He and Alexis were always coming up with new ways to make her smile. Alexis and her had become good friends, she'd come to her for advice or when she needed to rant about her Dad. Kate knew that if she needed it Alexis, who had now been off to college for a few years would be there to listen to her too.

The day before was long and tiring but it was perfect. Kate had been able to rein Castle in on most things so that their wedding was perfect, for both of them. It was modest, elegant and relaxed. It was a small ceremony but a larger reception. Somehow Castle had been able to stop the paparazzi from hounding them at the outdoor ceremony, which Kate was going to be forever grateful for.

* * *

><p>This marriage was going to be different from all his others, he knew that already. They had taken their time, well she had. He'd been ready to marry her the day she told him that she loved him but he knew that she would need time to adjust and he was more than content to be there with her until she was ready.<p>

He knew that the relationship was even more different for her than it was for him. But she let him get away with more than any of her last boyfriends. He'd even been able to call her darling and he could kiss her whenever he liked, well within reason. She had slowly opened up, to him and to others.

The day he got down on one knee was more nerve wracking than ever before. He was almost certain that she would say yes and that the ring was beautiful but there was something about Kate that could make the most calm of people get butterflies. He had carried the ring around for weeks waiting for the perfect moment. Finally he just decided that the perfect moment wasn't going to come soon enough and he'd die if he didn't see the ring on her finger soon.

She hadn't even said yes, but she didn't need to. He had slipped the ring on her finger and felt like he was flying. She had promised to be his forever. When she had walked towards him today he still couldn't believe that she was going to be his wife. He couldn't have deserved someone as perfect as her. She was more beautiful than he could ever describe, to say she was glowing was an understatement. She made Jennifer Hawkins look like Susan Boyle.

Now they would share more than they ever had before, a life, a love and a name.

'You do realise that there will now be two Castle's in the 12th. Oh, maybe we should have nicknames that would be so cool!'

She smiled at his childlike demeanour. 'Actually my amazing husband, there's going to be three.' She said taking his larger hand and placing it on her not yet swelling abdomen.

* * *

><p><strong>This chapter is probably a bit choppy but I just wanted to get it out to you. Probably too cheesy too but I couldn't resist!<strong>

**Well this is the end my dear readers. I hope you loved it, or at the very least liked it! **

**All the favourites/alerts were awesome but the reviews well they just made my day! Each and every one of them! So thank you, thank you, and thank you! Thanks for giving me so much support on my first Castle story, it means more than I can say! :D **


End file.
